I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
