the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
