My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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