You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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