I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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