one might say we're banned from that church
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize