i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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