Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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