phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
