what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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