wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
