if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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