I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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