So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize