halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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