I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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