I wish I could teleport
Where is the hickey?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
