We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
