Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
