fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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