Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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