Pappa wants mamma naked
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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