What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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