ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
