i think my tv is drunk
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You made out with two different species that night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
