so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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