Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am naked and annoyed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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