dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
