We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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