I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize