I'm going to jail i love you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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