so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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