So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
