when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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