2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
