I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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