he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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