quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
