We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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