so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
