at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There r osticjed everywhere
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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