saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize