this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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