I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
