It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
