Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
