he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
