You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
