So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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