mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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