ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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