So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
