Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
