can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
