Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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