I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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