I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
