he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My pussy is not your playground.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
