Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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