oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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