Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
