...so i touched it.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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