the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
