"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
