So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
